That being said, just because couples fight and have arguments do not mean they are about to end things. Fights happen. Feelings are hurt. Expectation unmet. Toes are stepped on. It's ok to have disagreements. You're two different people for crying out loud! If you're not having those conversations then you're probably a pushover who will grow to be resentful. I don't want to hate my husband. I want to like being with him for MANY years to come. He's my bfF. If you disagree about the intense conversations where emotions are out in the open then that is your choice. But, when I tell you that I had a fight with my husband don't turn around and call the gossip hot-line and tell them I'm getting a divorce. That's dumb. Marriage is not a fairy tale. Fairy tales are so popular because they are not real. So, if you're engaged now just understand, you will fight and THAT'S OK! Don't worry and think you're the only ones that fight and that you're forever doomed. On the other hand, if you fight everyday, I'd talk to someone who has been married a lot longer than me.
I love my husband tremendously. Like, over the top sometimes. But, to be honest, I don't feel ooey gooey butterflies every moment of everyday. Some days work sucks and they have sucked every ounce of compassion, patience, joy, and energy out of me and I just want to be alone, in my room, without interruption. That's real life emotions. It's not unreasonable to feel that way when you work 50+ hours a week, stuck in a claustrophobic space, you miss your girl friends, and you haven’t done anything to relax in months. Again, that’s real life. However, you don’t always get to hide away because you live with some one. That someone is your husband. Your HUSBAND. Ya know, the whole “for better or for worse” dude. Yeah, today you want to cash in the “for worse” feeling. Even though right now may be frustrating you know that in a couple of hours or at least tomorrow, you’ll be snuggled in the warmth of his arms and listening to his terrible singing as he walks about the house and smile… because that terrible voice is the same voice that makes it all better.
I say all this not to air my dirty laundry or to make my husband look like a bad husband or me a bad wife but it’s to fight the “Perfect American Couple” façade. How about instead of fronting we are honest with each other. All this fronting is giving young couples unrealistic expectations. Kids are all the time thinking their parents are the only ones that disagree and get mad and NO ONE is left unscathed. BE. REAL. Marriage is hard. Life if hard. Let’s not lie about it. Let’s just teach each other how to get through it with as feel bruises as possible. Deal? Deal.
Love, The imperfect Little Miss GG
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