To Pee or Not to Pee.

My father is not a super hero per say. However, the lessons he taught me growing up may very well have saved my life on many occasions. In my 31 years of international travel, road tripping, and adventuring alone I have felt that my well-being was threatened a hand-full of times. However, because my father taught me to always be aware of my surroundings I was able to get out of those situations in one piece. I might have escaped feeling frazzled and frightened but I escaped them. I go into new situations with curiosity and awareness. I never go into them with fear. My dad didn't teach me fear he taught me to use my head. Fear, while necessary, at times prevents us from experiencing beautiful possibilities. I could tell you very specific stories and perhaps I will one day but for right now hear this; In my 31 years of life I have never felt threatened in a public restroom. Every single time I was afraid for good reason it was in public, often in broad daylight. You have every right to be protective over your family, especially your little ones. However, may I suggest you be your child's super hero by teaching them to live their lives with eyes wide open full of curiosity and wisdom. Not fear. Fear breeds and multiplies. Fear often causes hurt.

May I also say that it's not the transgender individuals we fear. It's the bad guys. We fear perverts, rapist and kidnappers. I hate to say it, friends, they come in all shapes and genders. There is no possible way to protect your loved ones 100% of the time. I am very careful of strangers around my children. That's not being afraid that's just not being dumb. I listen to my spirit (or gut) and I don't do stupid things.

I have never been in a public restroom in this country that was guarded with security. There has never been an I.D. check to get in. ANYONE could walk into a restroom now... today... all of the yesterdays. Again I say, I have never been threatened in a public restroom. There have been times I have thought they were sketchy and listened to my spirit say, "eh, maybe wait until someone else is walking in too." And I did. And I was fine. Thirty-one years of peeing and I'm just fine. I can also remember when a man walked out of a stall while I was washing my hands and we both laughed because he realized his mistake. Don't be afraid. Be kind and be smart. If it's sketchy go with a friend and don't let your children go in alone if at all possible.

The greatest lesson I have come to understand in my adult life is that when I am verbally attacked, made fun of or mocked I know it's much less about me than it is about them. So, my dear transgender friends, I'm sorry that you are being targeted for this current argument. It's not about you. It's about fear. You are not monsters. You are not "bad guys" for wanting to use the restroom with people you feel most comfortable being around. I'd rather you be in the stall next to me and my children than to be outcast and made to feel alone. You are welcome in my bathroom. You are also welcome at my table. Come let's eat together and share stories of love and joy and things that matter. You matter. You are loved.